The story of the tower of Babel begins by saying that the whole earth was of one language and of one speech. That is to say, there was unity of thought and expression. Your faith was firm and dynamic. Then you allowed your conciousness to fall. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there (Genesis 11:2). The plain means any kind of negative thinking in contradistinction to the hill or mountain, which stands for prayer or spiritual insight .The bible mentioned that they dwelt on that plain (or in that state of mind). It is not an occasional negative thought that does the harm, it is the thought or the false belief that is dwelt upon that caused your trouble.
Habitual wrong thinking, false beliefs, long entertained, build up a conviction both conscious and subconscious that we have to rely upon ourselves. Of course, nothing could be more discouraging than such an idea, and in its turn it produces more fear.
In the parable these people got the absurd idea that they could reach heaven (regain harmony) by building a material tower. This describes that sense of insecurity and apprehension that has always beset the greater part of mankind because they have not realized the Presence and Power of God, and their essential unity with Him.
Then the account says that the Lord scattered the people abroad, and confounded their language that they could not understand one another's speech. The confusion of tounges is a graphic description of the state of mind of those who have not yet to begun to center their lives on God, for only fear and chaos can come to them until they do.
Since leaving Alcoholics Anonymous, I have seen a steady decrease in the amount of negative thinking I have about myself. If I am honest though, I think I have traded the negative thought about me for negative thought about AA and that's not good either. I am trying hard not to be resentful to AA but honestly I feel like I have been awakened from a 30-year nightmare of self-doubt and unwarranted dread. I believe more and more each day that the habitual negative thinking about myself that began in AA decades ago has had a profoundly negative impact on my life.
I imagine anyone from AA who might read this would cite the AA line about me taking responsibility for my part in the resentment I have for AA. Here's my part. I drank alcohol and smoked pot as a 13 and 14 year old boy. This caused my parents to put me in a teen center for drug and alcohol treatment where I was emotionally and sexually abused and stripped of all self worth and positive feelings about myself. Then I got fed up and ran away. After much reflection and prayer, I have come to believe that my spirit never fully recovered from the emotional and sexual abuse I experienced in this treatment center. In fact, I believe in some way I thought I probably got what I deserved for disobeying my parents. Just writing that whole thing out makes me sad for myself. But as I am coming to understand and as Emmet so eloquently writes, "It is not an occasional negative thought that does the harm, it is the thought or the false belief that is dwelt upon that caused your trouble". So let's flip that resentment on its head. I am in the place I am today because of those experiences. I met my soul mate in an AA meeting. AA served as a governor, a speed limited for the downward spiral I was on a result of my negative self image. At the risk of sounding schizophrenic, I am grateful to AA for the role it played in making me who I am today. That doesn't mean that I am going to allow AA's negative thought-control to remain a part of my life.
Negative thought about self... this is the biggest problem I have with Alcoholics Anonymous. This is the issue. This is the core of what is wrong with AA. AA is a place where negative thought about yourself is a requirement. Think I'm exaggerating? Consider the following commonly recited lines of AA rhetoric. "My natural state is as a drunk" "My best efforts led me to AA", or my personal favorite, "I am powerless". Other great negative thought control statements like, "without the program of AA, I will end up drunk, or find myself in jails institutions, or dead" and "Quit your stinking thinking" are designed to constantly remind the AA member that he or she is powerless, and unable to live a happy, joyous and free life without AA's program. So here's my question. If God exists within me and all around me and my only requirement is to give myself over to the power that God has already placed inside me and I have free will, how am I powerless? Maybe it is just me, but does anyone else see the insanity of the idea that we are powerless? If God is either everything or nothing, and the truth of the Lord is written on every mans heart (God exists within us all), how can anyone be powerless?
Here's what I think. And to admit this is to admit that I was guilty of taking the easy way out by remaining in AA myself. Everyone has a choice after reaching a point in their drinking where they are out-of-control. The choice is to ignore the higher path, and keep drinking knowing that it is causing problems or to connect with the God that exists within each of us a allow him to change us from the inside out. Have I oversimplified? AA provides a third and cowardly option. An option created by a desperate group of people (Bill W and crew) - Here it is... We have been afflicted with an unprovable, incurable disease that has prevented us from making that choice. Moreover, since we have a disease that is both physical and spiritual, we could not have made that choice if we wanted to. But follow our simple program completely and you can live. Choose against it and you will end up in jail, or a mental institution, or dead...
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